The Holder of Artemis

Your efforts for this Object are futile unless you are wearing the headdress.

Since before this writer can postulate, this Holder's minions have been practicing the so-named ancient Sapphic arts, and times have stayed the same as much as they have changed. Throughout history, these extremes have transformed and evolved (some would say they have merely changed) to a vehement hatred and mistrust of their brother gender or to a more passive, indifferent coldness, depending on the times.

Even so, if you are a woman, these creatures will sniff out whether or not you have even touched a man in your life; be prepared to answer the most intimate and awkward questions imaginable if you get tangled up with them.

Put on the headdress and go to any remaining verdant forest you can get yourself to. Whether or not you hear drumming deep in the forest, visualize any symbol that represents the Holder of Artemis. It doesn't matter what the symbol is; just as long as it means the Holder of Artemis to you, keep a firm image of that symbol in your mind.

Once you have the symbol in your mind, find any tree that seems to be attracted to you - you'll know which one it is - and place your less dominant hand on it. You will feel a tingling coming from the tree and slowly entering your hand, moving from your fingertips and filling your arm up to your shoulder. It will then spread throughout your body. It will feel distinctly different when it touches your dominant hand; watch for this, because it may save you. When it reaches your head, you will be transported to the other realm.

You will be on the main road of a grand, rock-hewn city. Behind the curtains and in the rooms upstairs, you will hear the groans of women in Sapphic ecstasy; do not lift the curtains or enter the rooms, no matter how tempting it sounds. Proceed into the shining crystal palace and you will see the symbol you visualized earlier, in all its glory, decorating the interior. Again, do not enter any of the rooms, but proceed to the throne room.

Sitting on the throne will be Queen Artemis herself. She will attempt to speak, but do not give her a chance. Look her straight in the eye and demand to know: "Aren't they brothers and sisters?"

Her eyes will glance upward toward your forehead; if she sees that you have the headdress on, she will break down and cry. Do not show any pity for her; hold out your dominant hand and tell her, "You know what I have come for. Give them to me now."

She will remove her earrings, and place them in your hand. After you receive them, threaten her life if she tries any rubbish. After she heaves a deep sigh, you will be back at the entrance you took to the forest, still wearing the headdress, and now holding the pair of earrings. Examine them if you like; they're shaped like lightning.

The earrings are Object 592 of 2538. Even if your ears aren't pierced, the moment they touch your ears they're in forever.