Object 433

The Holder of Filth

In any city, in any country, go to any psychiatric hospital you can get to. Calmly stride toward the front desk and ask the orderly to show you the one who calls himself "The Holder of Filth". Under no circumstances should you attempt this if the orderly is a female for your chances of success are non-existent. The orderly will most likely pay no mind to your request and tell you to be on your way. Keep a straight face and firmly state that you will not leave until you have seen him. The orderly will then tell you to take a seat in the waiting room until he comes back.

You will wait and wait, the hours crawling by like slowly mulling over the ordeal you will soon undertake, until he finally comes to you and ends the tedium. He will seem rather shaken and nervous but pay no mind and keep a face that would make a poker champion envious. He will lead you down a regular hospital hall until you reach a pair of rusty old double doors with many nicks and splintered bits. He will tell you that you must proceed forward on your own and that he will be right outside waiting for you. This is a mere deception, for if you walk through those doors the pain you will feel will make disassembling yourself organ by organ, bone by bone, seem like the most euphoric pleasure.

Instead, turn around and walk to the third door on your left. The orderly will yell or try to pull you away from the door. When he does so, kill him. The prize offered is too great and if you succeed in the task at hand he may yet again feel the vigor of life in his body. Once you open the door, you will see that there is a large room before you. It is well-lit and completely white, which gives the illusion that it had no corners and simply goes off into eternity. In the room, there will be a single bathtub with an average-looking man inside. He will not stir nor speak unless you ask him, "Where are they from?" After you have said this, pray to every deity you know that he does not rise out of the tub, for if he does your life is forfeit. If he remains in the tub and the lights go off, do not be afraid.

He will begin to speak in a language you have never heard but it will conjure images in your mind. His voice deep and gruff, slowly scraping away at your mind, will tell you of secrets, events, and people in such excruciating detail that if you remain sane throughout the ordeal you will be most fortunate. After he finishes speaking, the lights will flicker on and reveal that the average-looking man who was leisurely enjoying his bath is now a bloated, reanimated corpse emanating a smell that would make Satan, himself, gag. He will be mumbling things both profane and profound but pay them no mind.

Slowly approach the tub and kneel down on the side closest to the door while constantly keeping eye contact with him. The remains of the man will reach down and pull out a filthy washcloth. After he hands you the washcloth, thank him for his generosity and slowly back off toward the door while holding onto the cloth. Once you feel that you are up against the door, bid farewell to the wretched pile of filth that used to be a man. Do not exit until he nods his head toward you. Once you open the door, you will see nothing but a black void in front of you. Step inside and close your eyes. Once you open them, you will be back in the hospital waiting room.

Remove a newspaper from the waiting room magazine rack and check the date. If you succeeded, it will be one day before you came in to undertake the ordeal. If it is not, the Holder has deemed you unworthy of his gift and upon this realization, you will suffer for many an eon before the sweet caress of death brushes up against you to put an end to your misery. The washcloth has the ability to bore through any surface with great ease as long as the person holding it focuses. If the person does not concentrate, then it will have no effect and you will simply be rubbing the wall with a small towel. If one does focus, then the wall will quickly erode and collapse against the power put forth by the Object.

The washcloth is Object 433 of 2538. Use it carefully and use it well.