Object 426

The Holder of Idiocy

Long ago, jesters would impress royalty all over the world with jokes and crazy antics that would, above all, give kings and queens a break from their duties for relaxation and entertainment. Some queens, already unfaithful for marrying simply for power, would fall for the jester and would have an affair. Kings usually found out from other servants and the jester was either excommunicated or executed, the latter occurring obviously more. The queen usually didn't suffer as much, for lies told by a wife are more believable than that of lowly jesters...

In any city, anywhere in the world where royalty may have lived, go on a castle tour. You may as well learn a little while on this tour, but try and break away from the group, and try to find the throne room, but if it is only you and a guide, convince him or her to meet with "The Holder of Idiocy".

Without the guide, after locating the throne room, sit in the king's (or queen's, depending on your gender) chair and close your eyes, even nap if you'd like; They know you've had it rough, and it only gets worse as you continue.

The guide, if he or she was faithful, will allow you to sit on the king's (or queen's) throne, but convince them to shut their eyes. Once they comply, the true search for this particular Holder begins.

After you wake or the guide vanishes before your eyes, the throne room will glow with torches lit on the walls and the room will be lively, as if there were a ball. You will seem to have gone back in time to when the castle was young.

The clothes you came in are gone, and you are now dressed in royal garb, which is extremely uncomfortable. Don't be too shocked, the guests are never as they seem. Soon, after a stressful and itchy wait, a jester, grinning from ear to ear, is dressed in a purple-and-green suit, and he wobbles to and fro for comedic effect.

He may tell off-color jokes that make your sides split in pain from the hilarity, but he may also be very bland and boring. Wait through it, and depending on your sex, either stay or excuse yourself.

If you are female, head to the restroom, and never lose sight of the jester. Follow him into his quarters. He will not give in to your desires, but your husband will believe anything. Lie to him, execute the jester.

If you are male, the queen will excuse herself after the jester leaves. Talk to your guests; each one represents an object you have obtained or destroyed. You may learn nothing, but if you do, it will be forgotten after receiving the next object. The queen should soon find you with tears in her eyes, telling you of the jester's supposed advances. Execute him.

As the guillotine sends his innocent soul to heaven, you will be immersed in darkness. The jester is the Holder of Idiocy. His head sits atop his shoulders, as if nothing happened, but his flesh is rotting and bone is easily seen through his tattered green-and-purple rags.

Being that we all must make sacrifices, the jester will give a different choice to each sex.

If you are male, the jester will present the love of your life, even if she hasn't entered your life and will give you the chance to kill her, your true queen. If you choose against, the jester will choose five people close to you to off in the most gruesome of ways. You could have been sympathetic to his pleas. Either way, the Object is yours.

If you are female, the jester will present you with an even harder choice. He will offer your greatest desire at the cost of everyone you have ever known and will know, or he will give you the chance to kill 5 people close to you in ways he chooses. You betrayed him; you've killed an innocent. But, the Object is yours.

As your task comes to a close, the jester will laugh as if nothing had ever happened. He will skip off into the darkness, his head bouncing off of his neck at every hop.

Left behind is his rod, decorated in purple-and-green cloth, stained with fresh blood.

The rod is Object 426 of 2538. The sick laughter will haunt you forever, but you've brought this upon yourself.